TomNewsLetter (#15), March, 2025

The Shithow

The shitshow continues to play out in nauseous reality south of the border. Shitshow #242: in a shameful display of appeasement and transactional stupidity, the Orange Felon and his sycophants side with Russia (again) and harangue Ukraine, the only player with real skin in the war against Putin. Meanwhile, MAGA acolytes cheer every misstep (because of course they do) as U.S. standing in the rest of the world is in freefall.

AI watch #1: Yuval weighs in

What does an old Mickey Mouse cartoon have to do with Artificial Intelligence? Turns out that it’s an almost perfect allegory for the potential dangers of runaway technology. In his new book, Nexus, Yuval Noah Harari – one of the brightest writers around – opines about the threat that unrestricted use of AI poses to our future.  And not to put too fine a point on things, check out this chilling clip, and another, about lethal AI capabilities in the here and now.   

Lemme out, you dirty screw!!

 Years ago, in days of old, when magic filled the air... Okay, that’s Led Zeppelin and The Battle of Evermore, but years ago anyway, this tousle-haired crew from CBC Windsor shot a segment for the series Bob Monks: Inside Out. In those days a camera crew was actually a crew, and journalism was more of a calling than a business. And yes, that’s a Windsor Police paddywagon we were tossed into.

Dancing on the Veldt

My knees envy these exuberant dancers shuffling across the veldt (sort of).  I borrowed various on-line dance vids to come up with this amalgam, set to The Veldt, by Canadian electronic music producer/DJ deadmau5. For you editors out there, this is not just a pastiche of found clips strung together without thought to the rhythm; unlike so many ‘collages’ out there, each of these clips has been upscaled and modified to match the rhythm.  

Find Real News 

While Facebook plays fast and loose with its obligations to pay for content, here are sites that actually do the work to put out the news. In Canada, theglobeandmail.com, thestar.com, nationalpost.com, cbc.ca/news, ctvnews.ca, globalnews.ca, theweathernetwork.com/ca, ottawacitizen.com, torontosun.com, vancouversun.com, montrealgazette.com, calgaryherald.com, ledevoir.com, lapresse.ca, ici.radio-canada.ca. Internationally, bbc.com/news/world, reuters.com, apnews.com, theguardian.com/international, npr.org.

Vertical Video: Believe it or Not

 Five major Hollywood studios have agreed in principle to a new presentation format for theatrical-release movies. The VerticalView (VV) format allows motion pictures to be shot, edited and presented in a vertical orientation, similar to the way many consumers use video on their phones.  “Imagine watching your favorite sit-com in a format that literally makes fun of the way you take your own videos,” says producer-at-large Les Balivernes. The complete release.

We Are What We Remember

Worried that your memory is slipping? Neuroscientist Dr. Richard Restak studies memory, and he has a few suggestions to mitigate memory loss. The biggest take-away? Pay more attention, because inattention is the biggest cause of memory difficulties. Perhaps the most interesting memory aid: read more novels, because reading fiction requires recall and active engagement to keep up with the story. An example: a short story about memory.

AI watch #2: Memories Are Fluid

As above, memories can be weird. Did you know that looking at pictures you took during a vacation or other episode in your life can change the the memory of those events? And using AI to change those (still) pictures also has an impact on those memories. The still part of this picture is real; the waves crashing to the shore in Cabo were generated by AI, although I could swear I hear them…

 The Hits: March 1965

March 1965 was a stellar month for new releases (mostly British) that are still in play today. Bob Dylan set the tone with ‘The Times They Are A-Changin'; The Rolling Stones released The Last Time; Tom Jones gyrated though It's Not Unusual; Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders sang about The Game Of Love; The Animals (well, Eric Burdon’s voice) gave us early blue-eyed soul with Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood; post-Clapton, pre-Page, maybe-Beck Yardbirds released For Your Love; teen boys’ crush Petula Clark released I Know A Place, The Kinks were Tired Of Waiting For You.

And finally…

Old TV ads: so slick, so pertinent, so tasteful. Well, this one hits slick and pertinent, but not that last one. But it will make you laugh. 

Ipso facto endo.

TomNewsLetter Archives

TomNewsLetter (#15), March 1, 2025

(Ottawa/Gatineau) A Gatineau resident, 73, discovered a debilitating mind virus in a majority of politicians. “It’s odd,” the handsome older man said. “Millions of people don’t have a doctor, yet our political leaders never really deal with it.” That’s when he realized something bizarre was afoot. “You know the saying “If it’s broken, fix it”? Well, it is, but they don’t. Then it hit me- maybe they’re infected with- something. Lack of perspective? Ennui? Intestinal gas?” The man turned pensive. “Or -maybe they’re just not really ‘leaders’”. He plans to release his research findings in the New Year.  

It’s All Greek Latin To me

On today’s agenda: is there a consensus that Latin is a dead language? It’s a major pain to learn, and fully 72 per cent of us wouldn’t recognize Latin if it showed up in this very sentence, especially if you read it verbatim. A caveat: Latin isn’t dead if we use it every day. When you ad lib something (or speak extemporaneously), or if you come up with a clever alibi, or if you say 7 AM or 3 PM, you’re spouting Latin. So let’s just stick with the status quo, because it’s our de facto second (or third) language anyway. Or vice versa, etc.

Will I Am

You know Shakespeare, even if you don’t think you do. If you’ve ever said ‘a wild goose chase’, or ‘let’s break the ice’ or ‘good riddance’, or if you’ve used the term ‘brave new world’, ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’ or ‘all that glitters is not gold’, you’re quoting Shakespeare, Falstaff. And this: all the world’s a stage, and your life progresses through seven stages- one of them wearing pantaloons.    

The Longbottom Libary

Check out the latest titles in the back stacks of the Longbottom Libary. Sure, they may trigger you, but in a good way. Warning: these books are not for the kids, or refined company, if you keep it (and if you do, what the Sam Hill are you doing here?).

 Cool Covers

Every once in awhile you hear a cover song that reinterprets one of your favourite tunes. Often they are dreck; sometimes, they almost transcend the original (think The Sounds of Silence by Disturbed). Here are two recent covers of the contemplative side of Led Zeppelin (yes, not all is bombast). A beautiful rendition of Going to California ( a song about Joni Mitchell) by Sierra Eagleson Betty, and The Rain Song, covered by Chiara Kilchling.

“It Was 20 Years Ago Today…” 

Okay, 50 years ago. In late 1974, the big hits were: Elton John’s version of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds; Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas (dreck then, dreck now); soappy sappy The Three Degrees ask When Will I See You Again; the Average White Band learns to Pick Up The Pieces; disco fluff from Disco Tex & The Sex-O-Lettes; Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Free Bird seems to be used in every second movie on the big screen; and finally, Big Yellow Taxi: one word- Joni!!  

Review: 101 Dalmations 

Disney’s 101 Dalmations was originally released when I was 10 years-old; I reviewed a re-release for CBC Midday when I was 34. Now, 40 years later (how did that happen?), here’s the original review of the original movie. Ignore the fabulous animation and cute puppies; dig the (relatively) youthful insouciance of the reviewer.  

Je suis fini- for now.

TomNewsLetter #13, Sept/Oct 2024

A NewsStory: The Blurt 

Picture this: a Grade 8 classroom, all boys, most of them feral. And one of them – well, me, I guess - had his head stuck so far up another realm of reality that the oddest thing bubbled to the surface. Which meant that Mr. No-Impulse-Control let lose with ‘the blurt’ – in the middle of an English class. To an Anglican priest. I learned something that day: sometimes the line between life and death is  exceedingly thin.

Reaction Videos

‘Reaction videos’ on YouTube show (mostly younger) people listening to ‘classic rock’ for the first time. While there’s a lot of dreck, it’s interesting watching thoughtful people discover quality artists or talk about your favourite song. And it can be downright hilarious: catch these folks reacting to ‘Hocus Pocus’, by the Dutch band Focus - especially when the yodeling starts.

Autobiography: My Deal

Ottawa author Mary Sharina has released My Deal, a memoir of her time as a Playboy hostess in London, a fascinating story of one woman’s journey from “poverty to power”. Read the excerpts here, then buy the book.

Wellness Healthy Stuff 

Short daily naps may substantially decrease the risk of death from heart disease. Caveat: daily naps over an hour in duration (which to me isn’t a nap, it’s sleeping) may increase death from heart disease.  

Exercise for older folks has way more benefits than risks- but those risks still exist. Here are a few exercises to avoid (hint: lose the squats, and don’t lift anything over your head).  

Walk much? The first 5000 steps count the most.

Streaming Distractions

Looking for a good streaming series as fall sets it? Bear with me on this: try Vikings, a fascinating depiction of life in Dark Age Europe. This is big-budget story-telling, with well-drawn characters and surprisingly thoughtful ruminations on faith and religion. Warning: there is (bloody) violence. Ninety (!) episodes are spread over 6 seasons, most on Netflix. After that, Vikings Valhalla is a worthy spin-off, set 100 years later. Then move on to The Final Kingdom, set in England, a slightly different take on the same time.

The “4% Rule”: Still A Thing?

 After inflation, after the plague years, does the “4% rule” (living off 4% of your savings/investments annually) still make sense? Short answer is, as always: it depends. Some money managers think it’s ‘woefully inadequate’; others think you can safely withdraw more than that. The most important thing to remember about the “4% rule” is that it’s not a ‘rule’ at all, it’s a guideline.   

Music of a Certain Age 

Fifty years ago this week, we were listening to: I Shot The Sheriff by Eric Clapton; Lynyrd Skynyrd getting political (and slamming Neil Young) in Sweet Home Alabama; Cheech and Chong hitting the bong before recording Earache My Eye; George McCrae suggesting that you Rock Your Baby: and the The Hues Corporation wanting everyone to Rock The Boat. In another 50 years it’ll be 2074, and an ‘oldies’ list will include Taylor Swift and Little McNasty NoTalent.

Say What? 

It’s easy to buy a url (that’s the web address at the top of every internet page). Sometimes, though, due diligence gets short shrift. How else to account for Penisland.net. If you want to know which agent represents which movie star, Whorepresents.com looks sort of legit (maybe). Likewise, if you’ve got a dirty mind, you might see a different meaning to this legit site for Lake Tahoe. Analemma.org has something to do with telescopes, and not an Emma it sight, thank goodness.  Maybe therapist.com should rethink its url.    

The Future Ain’t What It Used To be

 An essay from way back when – 2017, to be exact – outlines possibilities for 2055 in science, technology and societal change. Interesting what holds up, and what is already old news. Some overblown interests in AR and VR (Augmented- and Virtual Reality), and almost quaint observations about climate change. Worth a read (7 mins), even if I do say so myself.

Starship Troopers

While we’re on ‘the future’, such as it is: we re-watched Starship Troopers, the 1997 action/satire loosely based on the Robert Heinlein book (and the title of a swell Yes song). Pumped-up satire on fascism, complete with over-the-top dialogue, by-the-numbers metaphors and the sterling acting talents of Denise Richards. Goofy, easy to watch, and unsettling in a ‘welcome-to-2024’ kind of way. The complete movie.   

Fin de siècle

TomNewsLetter #12, March 31, 2024

(Gatineau): A local man, 72, discovers that the ‘arrow of time’ is a bitch. “Frick, I just got used to the ‘72’ part, and here comes April again. It’s not right.” Unprompted, the man continued: “When you’re younger, they say ‘you’ve got your whole life ahead of you’- but do they mention the knees? The naps?” The man – otherwise good-looking for his age - blames ‘the guberment’, because, of course. “So, what else aren’t they telling us? That there are consequences for misspent youth? Who knew that?”

Jasperisms

Last week, Jasper asked his mom where ‘chicken fingers’ came from. When she told him they come from chickens, he asked ‘How?” She told him, as gently as she could, that farmers raise chickens, and they have to kill them to get their meat. Jasper asked where beef comes from, and she gave him the same answer: “You have to kill them to get their meat.” Jasper thought about it for a minute, then said: “I want to try a horse.” Then he said, “And after that, a cat.”

Between Two Worlds

Eclipse Tip #1: Watch, Don’t Shoot

Many people who have seen a total eclipse offer the same advice about taking pictures: don’t waste your precious time. They say that totality is so dramatic – and so short - that it’s best to just experience the moment rather than try for a perfect picture. (This advice doesn’t stand for my photog friends, who wouldn’t pay attention anyway). Great info on all things eclipse. 

(Un)quotes  

“I’m a 24/7 guy. Except when I’m sleeping.” Roddy Ho

“No matter where you go, there you are.” Buckaroo Banzai

"The eyes are the groin of the head." Dwight Schrute

“It’s nice to be nice to the nice.”  Frank Burns

“These are the good old days.” Mary Hopkin

Two Babies 

Amazing how some characteristics can pass from one generation to the next. Two babies, 30 years apart, fed by the same guy - different, and yet, the same.

Longbottom Library

Check out the latest additions to the Longbottom Library. Not for polite company (if you keep it), and definitely not what you want your kids to be reading

Free Range Kids

Ahh, the golden glow of childhood Elysian: well-thought-out playgrounds, road trips hanging out of the car, riding the ‘monkey trails’ (in Winnipeg) without helmets or thought of injury, and of course, throwing those big, pointed lawn darts as close to your little brother as you could without impaling him. No wonder infant mortality has improved over the last few decades.

Old New Movies 

From 1986, a review of one of the scarier movies to come out in the last… well, 38(!) years. It still stands up today, not surprising considering James Cameron directed (and co-wrote) this sequel to the Ridley Scott original. Stars the late Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser (in a dramatic role), Lance Henriksen- and all these years later, Sigourney Weaver is still kicking ass: “Leave her alone, you bitch!!”

Tech Tips

Even if you’re not technically inclined, here are a bunch of very useful tips and guides to all things interweb. It’s just one of millions of Pinterest sites, which also means it’s really easy to fall down the bottomless rabbit-hole of cool links and images.

“It Was 20 Years Ago Today…” 

 Okay, it was 50 years ago today, but what’s a few decades? Half a century ago this week, the big hits were:  Sundown, one of Gordon Lightfoot’s best; Mike Oldfield first hit, Tubular Bells, overshadowed his musical prowess; the mega-sappy Seasons In The Sun sold 14 millions copies;  TSOP/The Sound Of Philadelphia (featuring The Three Degrees) was the first television theme song to reach No. 1; (I've Been) Searchin' So Long was the best Chicago song to come out after they turned schmaltzy.  And Frank Sinatra (!) looks distinctly uncomfortable singing Bad Bad Leroy Brown (!). Maybe he should have, like, not done it?  

TomNewsLetter Archives

TomNewsLetter #11, Dec.31, 2023

To Dream The Impossible

(Gatineau): A local man, 72, realized his dream of unwrapping a brick of butter without the ripping the foil. “I worked it out in advance,” the man said as he settled in with a crumpet. “I used math and such to figure things out.” Not one to rest on his laurel, the man is considering an attempt to open a ‘press and squeeze to open’ bottle cap without using pliers. “Now, there’s a goal”, he chuckled weirdly.

Time Travel with Jasper

It’s not the stuff of H.G. Wells, but it’s still time travel, and we can all do it. Imagining the future invites hubris, but imagining a future in which my grandson looks back on the world he inherited is another story altogether. And that story could mean he carries the memory of his grandfather into another century.

Lip Dub    

This will brighten a dark evening. Simple concept: student bodies – so to speak –  from Montreal to Spain to high schools everywhere ‘lip dub’ (what used to be called lip-sync) to various songs. They surge through school hallways and generally have a lot of fun. Some efforts are just that, efforts, but others are quite creative. And amazingly, not a single cell phone in sight; there is hope. 

Word Cringe, by CrankyMan 

“Number” vs “amount” are rarely interchangeable. ‘Number’ is used for things you can count, while ‘amount’ is all about volume or mass. It’s not “the amount of people” who show up for a demonstration, it’s “the number of people” who show up. All journalists should know this, but don’t.

(Not Quite) Abbey Road

There’s something wrong with this picture (aside from the fact that the fifth Beetle is illegally parked). Prize* for the right answer. For a related cultural treat, drop into (onto?) the web cam set up on Abbey Road in London. It is a 24/7 live shot of the pedestrian crossing outside Abbey Road Studios, and during daylight hours (London time), there isn’t a minute that goes without a group of Beatles’ fans doing ‘the walk’ across the road. *Our eternal gratitude.

A Job Worth Doing…

Everybody knows that a job worth doing is worth doing well. But is that really true? Turns out that in many cases, the extra effort to achieve ‘perfection’ isn’t worth it*. It’s called the Pareto Principle, and it may save you lots of self-imposed grief. Remember this phrase and rejoice: perfect is the enemy of the good.

 * unless you’re a pilot or a doctor

Longbottom Library

Check out the latest additions to the Longbottom Library. Not for polite company (if you keep it), and definitely not what you want your kids to be reading.

Cool Linx: guaranteed time-wasters (in a good way)

For the recipe-deficient among us: click on what’s in your fridge/cupboard, and you get recipes using only those ingredients; see every plane in the sky at any given time- where it’s from, where it’s headed, when will it get there, in real time; listen to radio stations all over the world- hard rock in Turkey? Rock on; plug in your date of birth, and you’ll find out how many days old you are- and that your birthday may be closer to the 1890s than today. Yikes!

Cringe Albums  

 We’re already read about cringe words, how about cringe albums? It doesn’t matter how earnest or well-intentioned, you might need to rethink your cover art before you release your masterpiece (although you have to admit, those white shoes in the graveyard are exceedingly groovy). 

As Sharp As A Spoon?

Everyone wants to keep mental skills sharp as we grow older. This article has 38 Genius Habits Your 80-Year-Old Brain Will Thank You for Doing Today. Doesn't matter if you’re 40 or 80 – there’s good info here for all of us. Good strategies to keep your mature brain smart.

 Check out related posts on getting off your maximus, and when your memory goes to hell in a hand basket (where did that phrase come from?)

(Old) New Movies

More goofy old-timey movie reviews. CBC Archives keeps adding these old musings, so I figured, why not share? (Ed: to spare us the agony?) Ferris Bueller's Day Off still has legs, even after 36 years. It’s even become part of the zeitgeist: “Bueller? Beuller? Anyone?” Bonus: the Midday host introducing this review is the much-lauded Sue Prestedge, who is married to some random ex-print photog still trying to live down a semi-delinquent past.

2023 Redux: Past Articles of Relevance

Sure, It’s Artificial, But Is It Intelligent?

You’ve heard – probably ad nauseum – about  ChatGPT or any one of a number of ‘generative AI’ (Artificial Intelligence) applications. Ask the program any question, it will spit out a reasonably articulate (but not always) and reasonably accurate (but not always) answer. A suggestion: don’t shrug it off as yet another annoying tech irritation to avoid. It’s here – you’ve already used it – and it has real-world potential to change the way we communicate and even create.

Total Eclipse of The Heart

Well, total eclipse anyway. Mark the date: April 8, 2024, in the early afternoon, a total eclipse –the moon blocking all the light from the sun - will darken skies over southern Ontario and Quebec. Windsor, Hamilton, Belleville, Kingston, Cornwall, Montreal and Sherbrooke all get a few minutes of darkness in the middle of the day. According to those who experience it, a total eclipse can be almost rapturous. Plan your viewing area.

TomNewsletter(s) Archive

TomNewsLetter #10, November 2023

Local Man Discovers His Inner Child

(Gatineau) A local man, 72, has found his long-lost inner child. “Well, he wasn’t lost lost, just kinda misplaced”, the man admitted. In fact, he didn’t know the child had even gone missing until his sudden reappearance. “The little bastard kept playing peek-a-boo, but I finally got him”, the man said, before adding. “Only trouble is, now I can’t keep up. If it’s not ‘Do it- what’s the worst that could happen?’, it’s ‘Geez, didn’t see that coming!”

New Music: Flower Face Ruby McKinnon

Always good to come across new music and new artists (well, artists new to us). Ruby McKinnon, who records as Flower Face, writes, performs and produces her own music- and she did a lot of it while chasing her Bachelor of Fine Arts degree at the University of Windsor. Her sound has been described as “ethereal bedroom (music) reminiscent of the likes of Mazzy Star.” During the plague years, she released multiple albums on-line, and with her Nettwerk label debut, The Shark in Your Water, McKinnon has 1 million monthly listeners on Spotify. 

Awkward Truths 

•  There are people who don’t work, and they still make more money than you do. Bastards!

• Silver medalists feel worse than bronze medalists, because they were so close to the gold. Still losers, though.

•  You’ll never know how many people show up at your funeral. I’m not dead yet (Monty Python)

•  You can’t remember most of your childhood. Except that one time falling down the well, when Lassie wasn’t around.

Acedia: the ‘devil’ we all know

 Do you sometimes feel a “gloomy combination of weariness, sadness, and a lack of purposefulness”?  Maybe you don’t have the drive to finish (or start) that project, or you don’t really want to get dressed up enough to go out for more than a quick shop, or you’d rather settle into a really good book (or movie) than to, you know, get out and actually talk to someone. Read more…

Recommended: Streaming Now

Bosch:Legacy, unwinding now in its 2nd season (and the original 7-season Bosch series, based on books by Michael Connelly). Likewise, if you haven’t yet discovered the Slough House books by Mick Herron, the TV series Slow Horses (season 3 begins Nov. 29) puts face to the fascinating characters in print. Also recommended: season 4 of For All Mankind; Sly, a surprisingly compelling bio-doc about Sylvester Stallone; The Winter King, young King Arthur duking it out with fractious regional Kings and pesky invading Saxons; and The Killer, a chilling turn by Michael Fassbender.   

The Anals of Stupidity

The title of this Guardian article is “A disturbingly prophetic look at the future of America – and our era of stupidity”, and it refers to the satirical movie Idiocracy. When it was released in 2006, Idiocracy was biting social commentary. Now, that ‘bite’ has been replaced with the sad realization that so much of what was laughed off twenty years ago as- well, idiocy- is part of our mainstream conversation. Idiocracy is available on several streaming platforms.  

More Awkward Truths 

•  Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean they’ll love you back. Unless you stalk them; that’ll change their mind. 

•  There is no cosmic retribution for evil people. Except in the movies.  

• It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That’s not a weakness, that’s life. Jean-Luc Picard. 

• So they say. Frank Sinatra.

A Deep Saga: Going in Circles

For single young men working at INCO in 1970, a Sudbury Saturday Night meant bars, Stompin' Tom Connors, and women (apparently). But a Sudbury Friday night was a different critter. What to do, what to do?..- hey, let’s buy a car we can’t afford and cruise around lookin’ for chicks who have no interest in us!

Cool Covers: the Chicago school

Here’s a bitchin’ cover of the Chicago hit (I’ve Been) Searching So Long. It comes with a geo-political caveat, though: this excellent cover is performed by a Moscow-based tribute band called Leonid and Friends. The band was established long before the Russian invasion of Ukraine, but it brings up fraught questions about whether you can or should separate artists from their art. More: the lead singer in this 2019 cover is Serge Tiagniryadno, who is Ukrainian. He left the band to fight… against Russian invaders in his homeland.

TomNewsLetter #9, September 2023

In Your Head

You know that voice whispering in your ear (the friendly one, not the demon ordering you to sharpen the scythe)? If you’re like me, you may be surprised to find out that not everyone has ongoing ‘private speech’. The Atlantic posits how and why we talk to ourselves- and why we mostly do it silently (which might have something to do with not getting locked up).  

 Total Eclipse of The Heart

Well, total eclipse anyway. Mark the date: April 8, 2024, in the early afternoon, a total eclipse –the moon blocking all the light from the sun - will darken skies over south-eastern Ontario. Hamilton, Belleville, Kingston, Cornwall, Montreal and Sherbrooke all get a few minutes of darkness in the middle of the day. According to those who experience it, a total eclipse can be almost rapturous. Plan your viewing area.

Longbottom Library

Check out the latest additions to the Longbottom Library. Not for polite company (if you keep it), and definitely not what you want your kids to be reading.

Wha..?

There is as cynical ‘joke’ bouncing around the blogosphere: Q: What’s the difference between a conspiracy theory and the truth? A: About six months. Of course, in most cases, ‘the truth’ means conflating informational apples with data-driven oranges. QAnon, chem trails, Jewish space lasers: how can thoughtful people accept any of it? (Catty comment: the answer may be embedded in the question.) Here’s a great article about how to talk to people who tend to believe in conspiracy theories. Good info, good tips (Tip #1: always speak respectfully), and facts over fiction.

Hope They’re Not On ‘Shrooms..

Some shows ain’t was they used to be. We’ve all been to concerts over the years, and we’ve seen set-ups ranging from a single artist and microphone to multi-media extravaganzas with big screens and pyrotechnics. I’ll bet, though, you’ve never seen something like this. ‘Holo shows’ are becoming increasingly popular, where the music (mostly EDM, electronic dance music) takes a back seat to the visuals, which can range from the terrifying (above), to… well, just different.

“Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, I didn’t really consider the bigger picture.”

Ok, Sinatra didn’t sing that last bit, although it would have made the song more relevant. A few years ago, palliative care worker Bronnie Ware spoke to many people are their literal deathbeds, and from those conversations compiled a list of the top five regrets of the dying.  The life perspective they shared is remarkably clear, and remarkably consistent.

Find Your Real News

Re: Bill C-18, “Google to cut off access to Canadian news as Facebook cancels deals with publishers”. The solution is as dead simple as it should be obvious: go to the news sites. Not Google, not FB, not Twitter (ya, ya - ‘X’)- go to the sites that actually do the work to put out the news. theglobeandmail.com, thestar.com, nationalpost.com, cbc.ca/news, ctvnews.ca, globalnews.ca, theweathernetwork.com/ca, ottawacitizen.com, torontosun.com, vancouversun.com, montrealgazette.com, calgaryherald.com, sportsnet.ca, tsn.ca, ledevoir.com, lapresse.ca, ici.radio-canada.ca. And of course, Longbottom News, where the motto is: “if it’s happening right now, it’s news to us.”

Deep Stories: A Year Of Living Stupidly

There’s only one way in and out of a mine, and that’s through the shaft. You get down the shaft on an elevator (sort of), which is called a ‘cage’, because it resembles one. All metal, eight feet wide, 12 feet deep, and open at the front so that you see the raw earth flash past on the descent, illuminated by your head lamp. Just another day in the year of living stupidly.

 Fifty Years Ago: top hits of Sept., 1973

Angie – Rolling Stones

 Higher Ground – Stevie Winwood

 Brother Louie – Stories

 Midnight Train to Georgia - Gladys Knight and the Pips

 China Grove – Doobie Brothers

September, 2023

Archive

TomNewsLetter #8, July 2023

Mans Sues Himself

(Gatineau) A local man is taking his body to court. “Not a day goes by without an argument”, the man said. “If it’s not ‘What makes you think you can still run a 10K?’ it’s ‘Pssst! Hey buddy, ready for another health issue?’. The litigant expects a quick settlement. “As far as I’m concerned”, he said over scrambled eggs and warm milk, “the warranty is still in effect”. He added a parting shot, “See you in court, sucker. You can’t handle the truth!!”

Freddie Mercury, Politics and Evangelicals

Glossolalia is used in religion, in music, and lately, it has cropped up in politics, especially with politicians who like the sound of their own voices (ed: isn’t that all of them?). Despite that, it can be quite beautiful. And see what happens when John Lennon reverts to glossolalia when he forgets lyrics (at 2:05) during The Beatles famous rooftop concert.

Longbottom Library

Check out the latest additions to the Longbottom Library. Not for polite company (if you keep it), and definitely not what you want your kids to be reading.

Ex-Media Guy Barks At The Moon

(Ottawa) Last week, a seasoned media writer suffered a mental-health crisis when he heard yet another local TV reporter say “was bit” for the umpteenth time. Found muttering to himself in a local park, the former broadcaster said, “The horror. Don’t they understand that proper grammar can’t be beat?” Unfortunately, no one was listening, or even seemed to care. Drive careful.

Find Your Real News

Re: Bill C-18, “Google to cut off access to Canadian news as Facebook cancels deals with publishers”. The solution is as dead simple as it should be obvious: go to the news sites. Not Google, not FB, not Twitter- the sites that actually do the work to put out the news. theglobeandmail.com, thestar.com, nationalpost.com, cbc.ca/news, ctvnews.ca, globalnews.ca, theweathernetwork.com/ca, ottawacitizen.com, torontosun.com, vancouversun.com, montrealgazette.com, calgaryherald.com, sportsnet.ca, tsn.ca, ledevoir.com, lapresse.ca, ici.radio-canada.ca. And of course, Longbottom News. Our motto: “if it happens anywhere, it’s news to us.”

Retirement: Aging in Place, Gracefully

‘Aging in place’: if you haven’t heard the term yet, you will, because whatever your age, eventually you’ll be involved in the conversation. Aging in place (sometimes it’s 'aging in home') refers to the concept of older Canadians developing strategies to stay in their home as long as they can, even as health challenges pile up.

Frankie Went To Detroit

Believe it or not, way back in pre-interweb days, some music videos were deemed ‘too sensitive’ to broadcast to the masses. Here’s a CBC Windsor piece from 1984 (literally and figuratively, I guess) about two Frankie Goes to Hollywood releases (Relax and Two Tribes). Note the reporter’s cool moustache and too-hip-for-TV attitude

Deep Stories: Hired!

What’s a poor boy to do? I knew what I wanted to do, but I had no money to do it. So when I saw the ad in the newspaper, the clouds parted and the future brightened. There it was, in large-font text and exclamation marks: INCO Now hiring!! Deep miners, open-pit miners, labourers! Good rates!!* Easy-peasy: work at INCO for a year, and make enough money for the first few semesters of college. It became the year of living stupidly.

* $3.94 per hour

Recommended: Books, TV, Movies

TV: Invasion; spooky sci-fi series. It’s uneven, but everything War of the Worlds (TV series) wasn’t. The Capture; Brit cops. 

Movies: She Said; reporters run down serial predator Harvey Weinstein. Underlines that good journalism costs money. Novembre; a taut account of French security apparatus kicking into gear after the Paris Bataclan attacks.

Books: 4000 Weeks (thanks Ken Rockburn); be more aware of finitude, and act accordingly. Dead Lions; the second in the Slow Horses series, with rich plot and even richer characters

And finally..

Groundhog Day was released 30 years ago. I found an old review from another life, and was curious to see if the review stood the test of time. I think it does. It’s fascinating that “groundhog day” has entered the global lexicon as a term for a situation that keeps repeating, all because of this movie gem from so many years ago.

 TomNewsLetter, May 2023

Man Turns 72, Asks: What The Fuck Just Happened?

(Gatineau, April 18, 2023) A local resident was shocked to discover a stranger living in his home. “Some older guy I didn’t recognize was staring at me when I was shaving,” the man said. “Sure, he was good-looking enough, and had a certain insouciant flair, but still- who was he and what did he want?” Police were baffled, saying “Juste une de ces choses;  this happens more than you might think.”

Mount St. Helens

On May 18, 1980, Mount St. Helens, in Washington, erupted. You may have seen pictures of the massive ash cloud, but take a look at these amazing images: a man on his way to trail ride in the area stopped long enough to take this terrifying picture before fleeing; and hikers on neighbouring Mount Adams, 50 kilometers east, were horrified to see the entire mountain disappear in a pyroclastic cloud.

When Judgment Goes Up In Smoke

BBC reporter Quentin Somerville and his cameraman figured they would try an on-camera ‘closer’ to end his story about the burning of a large cache of illicit drugs seized in Great Britain. For whatever reason, they decided to stand downwind of the smoking pile of mind-altering substances. You can probably guess the results.

Lying Liars At It Again

We see it all the time, particularly in political discussion: anyone left of center is a radical woke libtard, anyone right of center is a race-baiting fascist. Or a politician will use a remark or action made by a single person to characterize a whole movement. These ‘margin calls’ use an outlier as representative of a whole group, and in plain English, it’s lying.

Longbottom Library

Check out the latest additions to the Longbottom Library. Not for polite company (if you keep it), and definitely not what you want your kids to be reading.

Teenager in Love: Boy, 15, Almost Loses It Over Petula Clark

(Ottawa, Nov. 1966): In an effort to appear more sophisticated than he actually was, a 15 year-old Hillcrest High School student smoked his first (and last) Benson and Hedges 100 in the minutes leading up to a concert by English pop goddess Petula Clark. The young man became violently ill, but recovered just in time for the show, during which he was sure she gave him a little wave.  

What Bliss Looks Like

Can you name one country in the world? One? In fairness, the first part of this exercise in public ignorance may have been cherry-picked, but still. Not one country? The day is (partially) saved by the last subject, who obviously stayed awake through at least part of his education.

 TomNewsLetter, Feb. 2023

The Strange Tale of the Salton Sea

The ‘accidental’ Salton Sea, in California, is a fascinating place. It’s a large, shallow ‘sea’ in the middle of the desert, taking up a good chunk of the Coachella (yes, that Coachella) and Imperial valleys. For several decades, it was hailed as sun-drenched destination for the Hollywood set. These days, it’s just a parched, stagnant mess.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

For the youngsters out there, @WhatAYoungMan is a regularly-updated Twitter feed based on a series of books published when the world was black and white and stunningly paternalistic. Other books in the series include What A Young Wife Ought to Know and What A Man of 45 Ought to Know. I’m thinking of writing my own, What A Mature Guy Out to Know, once I hit maturity.

The Perfect Job

The perfect solution for lazy criminals looking to pull off one last big job without getting caught. Key and Peele doing their thing.

Sure, It’s Artificial, But Is It Intelligent?

You’ve heard – probably ad nauseum – about  ChatGPT or any one of a number of ‘generative AI’ (Artificial Intelligence) applications. Ask the program any question, it will spit out a reasonably articulate (but not always) and reasonably accurate (but not always) answer. A suggestion: don’t shrug it off as yet another annoying tech irritation to avoid. It’s here – you’ve already used it – and it has real-world potential to change the way we communicate and even create.

Longbottom Library

Check out the latest additions to the Longbottom Library. Not for polite company (if you keep it), and definitely not what you want your kids to be reading.

It’s All Music To Our Ears

Music often cradles us in an emotional blanket that evokes another time or place. Beethoven’s 'Pastoral' suggests wind-swept meadows; you feel the city lights in Solsbury Hill (pic). Music transports us, in time and space: driving the Ventura highway, melancholy waves of remembrance, triumph on an 1812  battlefield. It takes us back to when new emotions were bright and shiny: a ferry crossing the Mersey River, strolling down Penny Lane. Great article about what happens in our brains when music carries us away.

Wanna Feel Better? Get Off Your Assets

Get off your ass and start moving. Do anything: walk, run, swim, join a fitness class. Even if you’ve been sitting around way to much (hello Covid; goodbye Covid), or if you haven't paid much attention to your fitness lately (or ever), the good news is that you can stop the slide right now. There are hundreds of books and web sites that cater to physical health for all, older folks included. Now is the time to get it in gear.

Linx

We don’t know what we don’t know. Here are a few interesting links, but a warning: you can lose yourself here for hours. Our Feb Fab Four: for the handyman/woman, a database of PDF manuals for various products; for planning a trip, the Weather Year Round, climate reports by month, day, even hour; trusted, free on-line internet tools, and not just for geeks; put your diet on auto-pilot.

And Finally…

From the Wayback Machine (thank you, Rocky and Bullwinkle), a 1985 review of the re-release of Disney’s 101 Dalmations. Forget the good-looking guy babbling on about plot points and animation techniques; it’s just damn cute all around. So are the puppies.

TomNewsLetter #4

June 2, 2022

Here Comes The ‘Future’- sort of

If you grew up in the late sixties, I guarantee you remember the intro to Here Comes the 70s, especially if you’re a guy. Music is ‘Tillicum’, by Syrinx. Great comments, and lots of views.

Longbottom Liberry

Check out the latest additions to the Longbottom Liberry, including some deep-stack titles you may wish you had never seen.

Music

For those of an age: did you know that late-60s hits Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye) and Incense and Peppermints were originally b-sides? Interesting factoid: buddy on drums ‘singing’ the I&P lyrics is not only lip-syncing, he didn’t even sing the original track. But he sure looks psychedelic, doesn’t he?

And for those not of an age- what’s a ‘b-side’?

Linx

We don’t know what we don’t know: there are thousands (and thousands) of interweb sites we didn’t know existed. How about creating your own moody scenery, with music? Did you know that you could generator of random awesomeness? Or try making up a rhythm. And lots of others.  

Myths for the Ages (so to speak)

Humans beans seem to have a soft spot for myths, however wrong they may be. When it comes to aging, a few persistent myths are not only wrong, they can be harmful- if you believe them.

Short Fiction

ReLiving: if memory is a house, which rooms do you visit? Which are off-limits? And what happens if you lock yourself in? (10 minute read)

Meme Me, Maybe

Thought of the week: Life is a “blink of existence between bookends of nothingness.” -Maria Popova.